Your money story matters

In the New Testament, the term ‘Mammon’ refers to money, material wealth, or anything that offers the promise of prosperity. It is often linked to the excessive or greedy pursuit of wealth. This concept is frequently misunderstood due to the misquotation of the Apostle Paul’s writings. While many believe he said, “money is the root of all evil,” what Paul actually wrote was, “the love of money is the root of all evil.” This distinction is significant, as it shifts the focus to our relationship with money rather than money itself. 

During my time as a financial services executive, I was obsessed with making money. For me, money equated to connection - I believed that having it was the key to getting people to notice and take an interest in me. I vividly recall the moment this belief took hold as a young woman: I was at a bar with my friends, who I thought were prettier, better dressed, and more popular than me. They were trying to get some men to buy them drinks, but since I was already working and earning a good salary, I decided to buy my own drink—and a round for my friends and the men in the process. In an instant, I became the centre of attention. The feeling of being noticed and appreciated was exhilarating, almost intoxicating, and it took hold. 

I used to earn money primarily to spend it on those around me, believing it would secure their connection and approval. My relationship with money was deeply unhealthy, driven by insecurity, and this pattern continued for years. It wasn’t until I lost everything during my marriage breakdown that I was forced to rethink how I approached money. Today, as a single mother of two, I’ve transformed my mindset. I now own 17 properties and view money as a tool to create more time and meaningful moments with my loved ones. Property investing has given me financial freedom, and I’m passionate about helping others achieve the same.  

As a property adviser, I see clients who: 

1. Are afraid of making money because they don’t believe they deserve it. A mental barrier holds them back from asking for more, as they’ve never envisioned it as part of their identity or associated it with their sense of self-worth. 
2. Believe they deserve money, but the truth is, none of us inherently do. I once had a client who, after starting a new job, immediately bought a brand-new car simply because they felt they “deserved it.” They sought instant gratification as a reward for their effort. What they didn’t realise is that what they truly deserve is financial freedom—a life where money becomes a tool to create time and opportunities for themselves, rather than just fleeting rewards. 
3. Think having money means they are bad - that being rich means you are immoral and that not wanting wealth means you are pious.  
4. Spend money to feel better - emotional spenders seeking a quick dopamine boost when faced with challenges in their lives. This escapist behaviour serves as a distraction, allowing them to avoid looking inward and addressing the underlying issues driving these compulsive habits. 
5. Are afraid to spend, fearing a loss of control - often stemming from a lack of positive financial role models and the emotional impact this has had on their relationship with money. 

I truly believe that this relationship we build with money comes from nurture, not nature, and we can unlearn habits. I have clients who are siblings and have the same job in the same industry, with the same income, but have made very different financial decisions: one has five investment properties, while the other is selling the home they purchased as they can no longer afford it.  

So if you have a poor relationship with money, how do you change it? 

Identify what your relationship with money is.

For two weeks, keep a diary of what you spend and why. Every time you buy something, write down why you are buying it and how it makes you feel. 

Ask yourself what you feel the purpose of money is?   

Is it to… 

1. Buy things? 
2. Survive? 
3. Have choice? 
4. Feel secure? 

When I spend money, I feel…

1. Thrilled then guilty – this means you may have a shopping addiction, or you may be making poor choices about money. 
2. Worried, anxious – do you have a feeling that you need to hang on to money – are you scared of losing it? 
3. Nothing – do you simply feel that money is a trading tool - something useful for trading goods and services? There is no emotion attached to your use of it. 
4. Good, I am happy to pay for things and provide payment and reward – it feels like the right flow of energy. 

Both of the last two perspectives are valid. One suggests a lack of deep consideration about money, perhaps not fully appreciating its value as a reflection of your own energy and effort. However, it also indicates that money isn’t controlling your life. The final perspective is ideal—it shows you take joy in spending on things you’ve thoughtfully planned for, demonstrating a balanced and intentional relationship with money. 

Buy a property

I know, it’s easier said than done. But if you have a job and you equip yourself with the right knowledge and advice about the market, you can get your foot on the property ladder. The only reason I started in property when I was 22 was because it was forced savings. Little did I know it was also forced capital growth. Purchasing a property teaches you about:

1. Cashflow 
2. Making money work for you through capital growth 
3. Being responsible for a good debt versus bad debt and establishing a good credit rating 
4. Leverage 

Investing in property allows your money to work for you, creating opportunities for growth that saving alone cannot achieve. As I often say, you can’t save your way to wealth. The reality is that with each passing year, the purchasing power of the money you hold diminishes, making investment a crucial strategy for building long-term financial security.

Understand that your savings are not just a dollar amount

 It is a representation of your energy and time, so much more than just their dollar value. It is your personal energy and is very precious. Don’t let it decrease in value each year. 

Be accountable by sharing your account and spending with someone you trust

Justifying purchases to someone else is an effective way to prevent overspending and reduce impulsive buying decisions.

Ultimately, your money story is yours to shape. Whether influenced by fear, greed, or insecurity, your mindset around money directly impacts your decisions and your life. By recognising and reshaping this relationship, you can break free from harmful patterns and harness money as a tool for stability, growth, and fulfilment - transforming it from a source of stress into a powerful force for positive change in your life. 

Photo by Jonas Jacobsson on Unsplash